Thursday, May 1, 2014

Oh but the things a slave will do for a kiss from his Mistress



I truly enjoy all aspects of life, but there is no finer time than when I go to bed with my Mistress. Every night, we cuddle in bed together. Me on my back, and my darling queen lying on my shoulder with her arm across my chest.  Every so often she may tease me and sometimes even bring me to the edge, but usually before we actually sleep, we’ll kiss.

Words cannot describe the pure sensuality of my Mistress’s kiss. Every our lips touch, and I feel her tongue tease mine, it positively puts me over the moon. Last night, there was no edging, and there certainly was no cumming, but there apparently was not to be any kissing either, because without warning, she moved to roll over while saying “good night my slave”.

This simply could not be. I protested, albeit meekly and plaintively, to which she pulled me to her and proceeded not so much kiss me, but to tease my lips in such a way that it made me hunger for more like never before.

I honestly do not know if she was planning it all along or not, but I do know that at that moment, she completely had me. She asked what I would do for a kiss from her, what I would be willing to sacrifice? I mumbled “anything” as I tried to reach her luscious lips with mine, but she held my head where it was so that she could control any contact. This increased my desire even more so.

“Will you assume the position for thirty minutes in exchange for a thirty second kiss?” she cooed. “The position” is one of her favorite forms of punishment, where I must lay naked and face down on the freezing cold master bath floor, chest in contact with the marble, hands clasped behind my back. I’m often whipped in this position, but she knows how torturous just lying there can be on the body.

I hesitated, wanting to say “yes” but as sexy as she is, the part of me that was still rational knew just how one-sided such a deal really was. She knew it too, but she also knew that I was no match her incredible powers of seduction. She then lightly glided her tongue over my lips and the deal was done. First I simply said “yes” but in a moment she had me begging for the privilege.

She couldn’t resist mind fucking me though. I was informed that the kiss might not be what I was expecting. Yes, it could be pure bliss, but it could just as easily be a tight lipped encounter that I would hate. Was I still willing to enter into such a bargain knowing this? I said “yes” because at that point I was so mesmerized that I couldn’t imagine saying otherwise.

Then came the kiss…

Oh dear Lord, how amazing is it when one is put into such a state of mind numbing seduction, and then to have every prayer answered in the space of thirty seconds. It was heaven epitomized. For a moment, time seemed to stand still, but reality soon stepped in when she withdrew and rolled over. “Remember now slave, thirty minutes, and of course you do know what the slightest hesitation will cost you, right”? By this, she meant she’d double the punishment if I made so much as a peep.

I stripped, walked into the bathroom, knelt in my usual place and slowly stretched out on the ice like floor. Forcing my chest to make contact with the tile is a bit like plunging into the ocean, with one key difference. I never really do “get used” to the coldness of that tile, it just gets colder.

Five minutes passed, then ten, then twenty. Every muscle in my body was aching from fatigue and cold. I could have lessened the torment by stretching out my arms, but to unclasp them is forbidden. She knows how hard this is too. She’s fully aware that a whipping would be much more welcome than this kind of long term torment.

Another five minutes passed and then I heard the sound that would be music to any slave’s ears. The sound of my Mistress’s breathing becoming slower and more rhythmic. She had fallen asleep. I thought  back to the beginning of our D/s relationship, just a little over 2 years earlier. I wondered then if my loving, caring wife, who literally couldn’t harm a fly, could ever treat me as harshly as the slave I needed to be. Now I had my answer.

What better evidence of caviar, selfish, dominant ownership could there be than for a woman to be so detached and uncaring about her husband’s suffering, that she can fall asleep without a care?

Oh how I adore that woman with every fiber of my soul.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Wanna get in great shape??? Become a slave to a personal trainer!

Kale... cane... crop... these are the various means of punishment my mistress wife has employed since I became her slave, but a couple of months ago, a very bright light bulb went off above her beautiful head and it shows no signs of dimming.

As I believe I've mentioned at some point, my wife is group fitness instructor and certified personal trainer. She's tough... very tough (think Jillian of "Biggest Loser" fame). In fact, having taken her spin class in the past, I can attest that her students actually call her "The Spin Nazi"... and for good reason.

So one day, not too long ago, I had a minor infraction. This would normally be met with a "Let me know when you're ready" declaration  (with "ready" meaning me fully naked, elbows on the bathroom vanity, and riding crop laid out for easy access). But this time she simply declared "gimme 20".

"Huh??? 20???"

"Yeah, 20... on the ground, NOW".

So I hit the deck and belted out 20 quick pushups. If you've been with me from the start, you already know that she has me on a daily weight lifting regimen, so they weren't too tough, but this new found punishment technique pleased her to no end.

The following day I was told to count as I did my pushups, and not long after that I was ordered to say: "Mistress" between each count for added emphasis. The beauty of this (and believe me, "beauty" is truly in the eye of the beholder in this case), is it requires nearly zero effort on her part (unless you consider"effort" snapping ones fingers and saying "twenty"), and can be done at any time at any place with total discression.

Usually she limits it to twenty or thrity, but occasionally if I really piss her off and she has no problem with upping the ante. In cases like this she'll usually hiss "FIFTY" between chenched teeth. That's about my limit, as I'm just about quivering at the 40 mark.

Keep in mind that these aren't your usual "cheater" pushups (you know... the kind that resemble pelvic thrusts more than anything else). All the way down (to a fists distance from the floor), and all the way up... and not overly fast either. To sacrifice form in order to save strength.... not a good idea. "Nope, that one didn't count".

Last night we were getting ready for bed and she was miffed that I was a little slow in getting her toothpaste on her toothbrush.

"Gimme 5" she said.

"Sweet! No problem!", I thought, thinking I was getting off easy... until I tried to come up after the first one and found her foot resting on my back!







Tuesday, July 30, 2013

A note to my Mistress with a few random thoughts

I sent this note to my mistress yesterday. Much of this she knows, but was worth repeating, while some other areas she "kinda knows" but I felt it was worth underscoring. Communication is key to any successful relationship, and a D/s one is no different.



Dear Mistress,

When you glare at me and say “who are you talking to?”, it may stop the current behavior in its tracks, but it’s also code for “I’m going to give you another chance”, because you rarely punish me at these times.

When you do give me another chance, I can’t help but to push for a third, fourth, or fifth etc. It’s human nature.

A true “zero tolerance” policy will amaze you in how it will change my behavior.

When you say “I’m going to punish you tonight” it does little to curb my behavior “now”.

I don’t want to feel pain, to crawl, to eat kale, or endure anything else unpleasant. I don’t even necessarily want to “voluntarily” serve you. What I NEED is to have my subservience to you imposed by your force of will. To me, that’s the very definition of “slave”.

While I often tell you that “I exist to serve you” what I really mean is: “I exist to be used (and/or abused) by you”.

Many of the things you have asked me to do, my body has not wanted to do, but when worded as an order or an expectation, my mind has the final say.

Control my mind, and you’ll control my body.

You’ve only scratched the surface on how hard I can be pushed. If you ever decided to experiment with this, the results might surprise you.

Every single time you might have heard me “complain” about being kept in chastity, has only been an attempt openly acknowledge the power you have over me. When you bring me to the edge of orgasm, and laugh at my frustration as you roll over to sleep, it is music to my ears. In a strange way, experiencing that kind of extreme dominance, is like orgasm of another sort.

The same goes for being resistant when you’ve asked me to do things for you. Yes, I sometimes challenge you, but when I do push, it’s only because I need to feel you push even harder. I don’t just need to “be” wrapped around your finger, and living under your thumb, I need for you to relish and flaunt my inability to disobey you, as well.

Whether it's sexual denial, or simply making me work when I've already put in a full day and am truly tired, the last thing in the world I want is for you to “feel sorry for me”. I actually want the exact opposite.

I need to sometimes resist you, even if we both know that you will ultimately conquer me every time.

When you “take” you pull an inner trigger that makes me want to “give”.

You have no idea how sexually attracted I am to you. That sex appeal is a big contributor in the power you have over me. You are a goddess to me.

I only get bratty when I don’t feel your control. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it.

I feel that the punishment should never “fit the crime”. It should always be 10 times as severe.

When you’re hitting me and I’m able to stop or delay the punishment, it’s me that’s in control. I wish that weren’t the case, but it is.

Right now, I’d say that I usually give you at least 90% and am only punished when I fall below 70%. But I think that it would enhance both our lives if those numbers were 99.9% and 99%. In other words, it would suit me wonderfully, if you were to expect perfection, and showed your wrath if I fell even a little bit short.

I want to feel like I’m being “kept on my toes” at all times. So when we’re cuddling in bed and being all lovey-dovey, it shouldn’t be unheard of for you to make me do a dozen laps (note: she often makes me do a circuit of the house on my hands and knees, usually reciting aloud the reason why I'm being punished in this manner), or be ordered to spend the night on the floor, only because I hesitated when you ordered me to get you a drink earlier. Not that you’d be doing this all the time, but I do need to know that you are capable of giving out severe punishments at times, even if it’s “because you feel like it”.

The more you make me suffer, and the more selfishly you force me to serve you, the deeper my love for you becomes, and the more intently I feel your love for me.

I don’t fear you, but I wish I did.

I don’t want you to think that I need to be in “slave mode” 24/7. I don’t. I usually want to be your loving husband, and strong protector. I want to laugh with you, enjoy our family together, and embrace life with you. But I do need to know that there is always a demanding, cruel, dominant and even vicious  and sadistic mistress bubbling beneath the surface. One who will show her wrath and treat me like the slave I am, if I slip up even a little.

Words cannot describe how desperately I need you, and how deeply I love you.

Always,

J

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Should a Domme be Obeyed ALL the Time???



In my last post, I touched on why it’s not a good idea for a domme to expect her submissive/slave to perform ALL tasks for her All the time. The point I was trying to get across, was it can make for a mundane existence for both parties and can lead to boredom and complacency.

Now I want to turn the conversation to a different direction. I think we can all agree that the sub/slave should obey his mistress when it comes to how he serves her on a day to day basis. I’m referring here, to all of the daily tasks she might impose on him ranging from laundry, to cleaning, to how she is to be addressed. Let’s face it, if the sub/slave can’t agree to live under her control in these areas, then there is no D/s present, just occasional kinky play.

But what about more weighty matters? Is it right and proper for the domme to be allowed to make the final decision in ALL things that affect the couple as a whole? I think that there’s a tendency in the D/s community to view this issue through an “all or nothing” lens. The domme is always right… Period… end of story. While that mindset might be a fun thing to fantasize about, it’s not reality. Real life is a little more grey. 

Consider some examples, in no particular order…

Does she get 100% of the say when it comes the decor of the house?
Does she decide what kind of car you will drive?
Does she have all the say on how savings will be invested?
When purchasing a new home, is it all her decision?
Does she have the final word on what school the children will attend?
Who decides where vacations are to be spent?
Is it right that all your joint assets are in her name?

Some of these are no brainers. Hey, if she really likes decorating and the guy doesn’t care, let her have at it. But when it comes to financial matters it’s a different story. Being dominant may be directly proportional to getting your own way, but there is NO correlation to brain power. Every woman, no matter how dominant they may be, is still human. And all humans make mistakes.

That’s the practical argument for having more parity in a D/s relationship, and I think it’s pretty irrefutable. As to the larger philosophical point, each couple needs to find their own way, but I’ll close with this final word…

Just because a man has agreed to serve his woman for life, it does NOT give him the obligation to surrender everything. Be your woman’s slave, to be sure, but you still have a right to be her PARTNER too!

Friday, November 23, 2012

Giving 100%.... an unwise thing to do

I can imagine many eyebrows being raised at the title of this post. I mean seriously... isn't the notion of giving our women 100% of ourselves, the thing we submissive men fantasize about all the time? But that's the funny thing about fantasies... sometimes they're best enjoyed as exactly that. Reality has a way of changing things.

The thing that inspired this entry is a post I read on "I'm her's" recently. Maybe it was just a passing lament, but IH was feeling something missing in his FLR. He cooks, cleans, and attends to every need of his woman on a 24/7 basis. On it's surface, it looks like "sub man heaven", doesn't it? But as he put it: "I'm the cook... period. I'm in charge of laundry... period". And so on.

If all we submissive men needed was to devote every conscious action to the betterment of our women, we would all be perfectly content with stealth submission. But as we all know, stealth submission is not nearly enough for us to be fulfilled. Giving of oneself is all well and good, but we need to feel TAKEN in order to be truly happy.

So if you embark on an FLR with your partner, why is it unhealthy to give 100% of what you have 100% of the time? In a word: complacency.

Once both parties become accustomed to their new roles, what else is there to give? Where's the excitement? Where's the thrill of pursuit and capture? Where's the sublime bliss of surrendering to feminine charms wrapped in cloak of confident dominance? I feel that a FLR will be much healthier if the man assumes a portion of the household duties, but not ALL of them. Under such an arrangement, the man never really knows what his domme will be telling him to do, or when she'll be telling him. But one thing is certain... she WILL be telling him. This ever present element of uncertainty adds spice to a relationship and prevents things from becoming mundane.

I also think that it's a good thing if the domme in the relationship doesn't loose sight of just how good she has it, with the ownership of a personal servant. By sometimes operating the washing machine, stove and vacuum cleaner, she's reminded of the benefits of having a man who is willing to do such tasks for her, and will hopefully keep her attuned to the reason he's doing all this in the first place.


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

An Example of Genuine Punishment

I think that no matter which end of the whip one might prefer, there are many times when "punishments" can be contrived things. Sometimes the submissive might try to provoke a reaction by being intentionally bratty, other times the dominant might purposefully find fault in something just to have the "excuse" to exert their authority in severe style. To me, there is nothing wrong with this, as long as both participants are aware of the unspoken rules. My mistress and I engage in this all the time, and it's fun for both parties.

But last night was different.

My queen was taping 2 shows at the same time on our DVR so we had to watch something else live in the next room. It was a political program that we both enjoy. When my favorite commentator went to weigh in on an issue, my mistress was speaking to me about some other subject.

Normally this would be no problem at all, as all one has to do is hit the pause button, but to paraphrase the old E.F. Hutton commercial: When Charles Krauthammer speaks, I just HAVE to listen, so I basically shushed her. Not in a mean way, mind you. I just raised my hand and said "one sec hon, I want to hear this". 

Huge mistake.

She said nothing (she loves Charles too BTW), but when the next commercial came on, she muted the TV and said in a firm voice: "Get out the swatch and assume the position" ("swatch" is her nickname for her cane). I did as I was told, stripped, and bent over at the foot of the bed, profusely apologizing with every move.


Funny thing, apologies. It seems the more sincerely they are made, the more they go unheeded. In fact, I think they make her MORE annoyed. Anyway, true to form, she swung so hard that the first stroke hit me in my lower back, right on the bone. Normally, the first few I can bear, but this was a whole new kind of pain, and I involuntarily shot up like a rocket and let out a prolonged wail. 


Through the fog of my slowly receding agony, I could hear her laughing out loud. It turned out she literally broke the cane with that stroke. It snapped off about 5 inches from the end, at one of the "knuckles". This gave me about 30 seconds to compose myself as she reveled in her mirth. I was then persuaded with a shove of her hand to resume my place, where she delivered another 5 strokes, each one harder than the last. Mercifully, she found her mark for these blows, no doubt because of her now shorter (and more controllable) implement.

The entire thing took less than 2 minutes and we were cuddling on the bed once again even before the program resumed. It was hard for me to focus on it though. Not from the pain, as I was already over that by now. What kept my mind whirring was I couldn't stop thinking how this is EXACTLY the sort of D/s relationship I crave. One where she looks upon it like her birthright that I serve her precicely as she wishes, and where it's as natural as breathing that she would beat me without mercy if I slip up even a little.


The entire episode was devoid of any psychological dance, game, or pretense. There was no "tacit topping" of any kind. She saw behavior she didn't like and she matter-of-factly punished me as severely as she could. The suffering she inflicted made me genuinely sorry for my offense and eager to show her that I learned my lesson. This was D/s as it should be, where everybody wins.


Oh.... something else she did... she made me love her, just a little bit more.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

New Domme + No Training Wheels = OUCH!!!

Ahhhh the perils of being at the tender mercies of a freshly minted domme whose gusto outpaces her experience!

My wife is no sadist, but the thought of punishing me when I step out of line DOES have it's appeal in her eyes. As to me, I'm no masochist in that I don't crave pain per se, but I DO absolutely RELISH the thought of being married to a woman who owns me so completely that I have no choice but to submit to her when she tells me to assume the position.

I suspect I'm not alone in that regard. If I know that I'm to be punished on a given night, I'm giddy with anticipation throughout the day, craving the suffering I know she'll inflict on me right up to the moment that implement strikes tender flesh. Then, in an instant, all I can think is "What the F*** was I THINKING???". But later, when the beating is done and my composure is restored, I reflect on the suffering she made me endure and wish it were ten times as severe. Strange, that.

But I digress....

Once she had me over her knee that initial time, my wife became a lot more at ease in administering corporal punishment. I mentioned in an earlier entry how we have a collection of a few toys. Actually there are 3 to be exact. A perforated leather slapper, a crop, and the cane I already touched upon. At the start, when she was vacillating on which one to use, I offered her the suggestion that the cane was most painful by FAR. Sounds suicidal, I know. But at the time, I (wrongly) assumed that she'd reserve it for times where the offense was truly egregious. Instead, it became her ONLY weapon of choice, no matter how innocent my misdemeanors might have been.

Early on, I tried in vain to direct her to some websites where she could gain some knowledge. She shunned the idea, telling me that she didn't want to be "copying other couples" in our new lifestyle. So without the benefit of any mentors to guide her, she developed a certain technique at the start, and really hasn't wavered from it since.

Does she start with start out easy, with lighter taps? 
No.

Does she space the blows apart or deliver them in small groupings?
No... and no.

Does she favor each side of my backside evenly, ease up when she sees me writhing, or make strong efforts at developing good aim?
Nope, uh uh, and FUCK no!!!

Basically, it goes like this.

She blithely tells me to prepare myself for a caning. I go into the next room, draw the blinds, strip, lay the cane on the bed, and place 2 pillows on the foot of the bed which will serve to elevate my backside. I then gently knock on the wall as a signal that I'm ready and lay in wait for her. She then comes in and proceeds to wail on me as quickly and as hard as she possibly can for anywhere between 10-20 strokes. When she's done, she tosses the cane on the mattress, and offhandedly reminds me to straighten up the room before I leave.

The terrible aim is one thing that still surprises me. As I've mentioned several times, my darling queen is very athletic, and actually won MVP as a pitcher on her high school softball team. So it goes to show that she is indeed swinging that thing as hard as she possibly can, because her aim is downright terrible. Sometimes it works to my benefit, as when she's leaning so far into the stroke, the mattress takes the brunt of the blow, but let me tell you, you do not know what true pain is until you've been caned in the small of the back by a determined woman who's swinging for the fences.

Part of her being new to this, is not realizing that some form of aftercare really is called for. I mean, a typical session lasts only a few minutes, but after she's done with me, I'm practically a broken man, gasping for breath, and sometimes on the verge of tears. Being soothed at that point would be heaven itself, but you know what? I really don't mind the feeling of "abandonment" I get when she leaves me there panting and trying to regain a semblence of composure.

Why?

Easy... It's real. She is doing EXACTLY what she wants to do. She's not following a preconceived script, and she's certainly NOT acting in such a way to please me. It's not a game at all. No sexy outfits, no role play. She's simply giving her husband a beating for his temporary lapse in service to her. She's treating me like the slave I need to be, and I adore her all the more for it.